When Pastor's Bleed

I was recently given Gordon MacDonald's book, Who Stole My Church, by one of our members to read. It is a different church growth type book; it is fiction, albeit based on experience. It deals with the other side of the coin—how does the senior generation feel about all the changes in what can be termed the 'traditional' church? This entry is not about the book but about one section of it: Gordon's reaction to the departure of several people in the church after approval of a name change in a business meeting. I and any other pastor could relate to what he writes about those who leave after a dispute or for any other reason.

Are there any words that a pastor dreads more than 'leaving the church?' There must be, but I can't think of them right now. Leaving! I tend to associate the word with defeat or failure—mine . . . Some are going to ask, Why the fuss over fifteen people (the number of folks who left after that decision). The truth is, speaking as a pastor, you give your heart to the people of a congregation if this work is indeed a calling. You invest in them, think about them constantly, try to find ways to build Christ into their lives. You exalt in their spiritual development. You share their difficult moments. And you rejoice when good things happen to them.

He continues: If you really do give away your heart, then when people leave, they take a piece of it with them. I have known more than a few pastors who have given their hearts away piece by piece until one day there was nothing more to give. It's not unusual for some pastors to reach a point where they can no longer manage the disappointments of people leaving or just hanging around and making trouble. Something dies within them, and they either quit or begin to treat their work as a regular job in which a person counts the days until retirement. (I would add that when this happens a pastor often becomes very cynical instead of hopeful and full of faith.)

To be honest, sometimes there are people who leave the church and you feel relieved. They demand a disproportionate amount of attention, or they generate a chronic kind of complaining. You finally come to the conclusion that this is not a happy experience for them or for you. They have to be released to find a place where they'll find a better fit.

But to be fair, the fifteen or so who left us after we changed our name were very good people. And that's why I took every one of their 'leavings' personally. [Who Stole My Church, 162-163].

MacDonald has eloquently shared what makes pastors bleed. It's not fighting the Devil; we know God will give us victory. It's not standing for truth; we see that as our calling. It is the leaving of the saints. Every time it happens, no matter whom or what the reason, it hurts and we bleed.

After all, contrary to popular opinion, pastors are just people too.