The Ideal Preacher

I don't remember if I've ever shared this or not:

After hundreds of fruitless years, a model minister has been found to suit everyone. It is guaranteed that he will please all the people in any church.
• He preaches only 20 minutes, but thoroughly expounds the Word.
• He condemns sin, but never hurts anyone's feelings.
• He works from 8am to 10pm doing every type of work from preaching to janitorial
• He makes $100 per week, wears good clothes, buys good books, has a nice family, drives a nice car, and gives $50 per week to the church.
• He stands ready to give to any good cause.
• His family is completely model in deportment, dress, and attitude.
• He is 26 years old and has been preaching for 30 years.
• He is tall, short, thin, handsome, has one brown eye and one blue eye, hair parted just right.
• He has a burning desire to work with teens and spends all his time with old folks.
• He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work.
• He makes 15 calls a day on church members, spends all his time winning the lost, and is never out of the office.

[Darrell Robinson, Total Church Life].

Well there you go!